Late Queen 'dismayed' by Prince Harry's actions right before and after marrying Meghan

Whilst minimal in comparison to his brother's wedding, when Prince Harry married at St George's Chapel in Windsor back in May 2018, it was certainly a grand royal affair. It was before any public feud played out after quitting their duties with The Firm, with the out in full force.

The new Duke and Duchess of Sussex looked like a fairytale couple. But behind the scenes, it seems all was not as harmonious as it appeared, with this the start of reported cracks starting to form. According to royal biographer Ingrid Seward, the late Queen Elizabeth was privately “dismayed” by her grandson’s behaviour both before and after the big day.

Seward alleges the Queen’s close friend and cousin, Lady Elizabeth Anson, said the Queen was left troubled by Harry’s “high-handed attitude” during that period. This apparently is what tilted the scales, reportedly leaving their relationship “badly damaged” moving forward, the reports.

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'Tiara tantrums and raised voices'

One heated exchange came after Meghan’s chosen tiara, the Queen Mary Diamond Bandeau, was at the last minute kept from her so she couldn’t access the headpiece for a hair trial. Reports at the time claimed the Queen herself stepped in to calm matters and was not impressed by Harry raising his voice at the Queen’s dresser, Angela Kelly, over the issue.

The Queen also reportedly raised eyebrows at Meghan’s choice to wear a white dress and veil, a traditional look usually reserved for brides marrying for the first time. Meghan had previously been married to film producer Trevor Engelson from 2011 to 2013.

Adding to the tension, Harry was said to have sought special permission to wear his military uniform beard and all despite the Army's usual policy against facial hair while in dress uniform.

'Very hurt'

Harry and the Queen had always shared a warm relationship. They even filmed a light-hearted Invictus Games promo together in 2016, showing off their playful dynamic. But that closeness reportedly faded after Harry and Meghan stepped away from royal life in 2020.

Lady Elizabeth Anson told author Katie Nicholl: “I don’t think the Queen ever truly understood Harry’s decision to leave. Turning one’s back on duty is completely alien to the Queen and she has been left very hurt by it all.”

That Oprah interview

The fracture only continued following Harry and Meghan’s headline-making interview with Oprah Winfrey in 2021. The couple spoke openly about their grievances with The Firm, including very serious allegations about how the family had handled issues of race.

Meghan recalled: “Concerns and conversations about how dark his [Archie’s] skin would be when he was born. People were concerned with how dark Archie’s skin would be.” It was during this interview that Harry admitted that despite his love for his brother he was on a very different path to him. He also said both William and were “trapped” in the institution.

Spared the pain of Spare

The Queen passed away before the publication of Spare in 2023, however it’s widely believed it would have been deeply unsettling for her. Especially the revelations including Harry’s drug use, how he lost his virginity in a field behind a pub, and details about family rows including a tense exchange between Meghan and Kate over “baby brain” comments.

The publication of Harry's book has only widened the divide between Harry and the rest of the Royal Family, which in part is why King Charles is claimed not to want to meet with in private. There have been few meetings between the father and son since Harry moved to California with Meghan.