When a pilotcalmly announces that you're turning back to your origin airport, there are only a handful of reasons you expect to hear: a small technical issue, a medical emergency, maybe even a security threat. What you don't expect is what really happened on my flight this week: a story that still feels too surreal to believe.
About an hour into our journey, just as we were nearing the Canadian border,the captain came over the tannoy. "A small technical issue," he said, meant we needed to return to JFK so engineers could take a look.
The flight attendants reassured us it wasn't dangerous, but my stomach dropped anyway. I pictured some vital system malfunctioning, engines cutting out mid-air, or the worst-case scenario- the plane plummeting from the sky. As we descended, other possibilities crossed my mind.
It comes after a British man claimed 'I moved from UK to Benidorm – price of a pint and Full English left me floored'.
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Perhaps someone on board was gravely ill. Perhaps ambulances would be waiting when we landed, [as Esther Krakue previously wrote in the Express].
What I didn't expect to see were two police cars pulling up outside the aircraft. No engineers. No paramedics. Just flashing blue lights and a handful of serious-looking officers. Then the whispers started.
A young man, apparently British (to my utter horror - because I was hoping to chalk this up to "one of those crazy Yanks" stories), had allegedly spent the flight engaging in behaviour so vile it left an entire cabin reeling.
According to fellow travellers, he approached a complete stranger with the crude proposition, "Ever had a hand job on a plane?" and, following rejection, allegedly exposed himself and began openly pleasuring himself, even displaying explicit images of himself on his mobile and attempting to touch the passenger seated next to him.
After considerable persuasion from the cabin crew, he eventually disembarked to meet the waiting police officers below.
No handcuffs were involved, just a swift, subdued departure - but the harm had already been inflicted.
The entire aircraft had been grounded for hours because one individual couldn't control his trousers or his urges properly.
It would be reassuring to believe this was an exceptional incident, a singular act of degeneracy at 35,000 feet. However, it increasingly appears otherwise.
Only last week, a pair grabbed headlines for engaging in sexual activity during a flight. Increasingly, public venues - trains, aircraft, even dining establishments - appear to suffer from individuals behaving in ways they wouldn't have contemplated a decade earlier.
Indecency is shedding its embarrassment element, and the remainder of us are being compelled to observe it.
Subsequently, we departed once more with fresh crew members, the aircraft itself remaining perfectly operational. On the other hand, it seems like humanity is on a downward spiral.
No passenger should ever board a flight expecting to become an unwilling participant in a live-action, low-budget adult film. And no one should have to explain, with a weary and vacant expression, that their flight was delayed not by weather or mechanical failure, but by a fellow Brit treating economy class like a Pornhub livestream.
If only I could say it was an American this time.
Do you have a story to share? Email me at julia.banim@reachplc.com
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